# Help with Person Statement for USC SCA spring 21



## BigSpeaker12 (Jun 8, 2020)

Hello everyone, I'm applying to usc this summer and I wanted to know if anyone was interested in looking over my personal statment. I think it's a good start but there's some stuff I could probably expand on.


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## addik (Jun 10, 2020)

Hey there, BigSpeaker12!

So I read through your essay and I liked how it revolved around your experiencing of winning a contest but not getting credited nor compensated (damn your friend lol), but I think you could work in your essay what kind of stories are you drawn to telling and why. Basically, we know you are interested in storytelling, which is why you are applying to film school, but what exactly in storytelling are you interested in and why is that so--just so that your voice comes out more in the statement and so that the reader would know what kind of filmmaker/storyteller you want to become. 

I'm by no means an expert on personal statements, so don't take my work as final gospel lol. I think it would be great if others could chime in too!


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jun 10, 2020)

addik said:


> Hey there, BigSpeaker12!
> 
> So I read through your essay and I liked how it revolved around your experiencing of winning a contest but not getting credited nor compensated (damn your friend lol), but I think you could work in your essay what kind of stories are you drawn to telling and why. Basically, we know you are interested in storytelling, which is why you are applying to film school, but what exactly in storytelling are you interested in and why is that so--just so that your voice comes out more in the statement and so that the reader would know what kind of filmmaker/storyteller you want to become.
> 
> I'm by no means an expert on personal statements, so don't take my work as final gospel lol. I think it would be great if others could chime in too!


Thanks for the feedback. I was thinking that I need to explain the types of films I want to make. Did you see any part of the essay I could cut out to make room? Basically any part you found boring or unnecessary.


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## addik (Jun 12, 2020)

Sorry I didn't get back sooner, I meant too but life got in the way lol!

I feel like you could always cut out some of the details you put in on what happened that day you found out you won but didn't get the money. There are some good stuff there but I feel like you could cut some of it out and expand the other sections--such as that bit where you drew comic books (what kind?). I think the main point is that setbacks never discouraged you from telling stories, and I think you can tell it in less words. 

Also, I think it would be wise to see how USC can personally help you become the storyteller you want to become. Sure, everyone wants to go to film school to be a great storyteller--but what does it mean to be a great storyteller and how do these life experiences reinforce that idea or help you on that path? How did they make you stray from the path if it did?


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jun 12, 2020)

addik said:


> Sorry I didn't get back sooner, I meant too but life got in the way lol!
> 
> I feel like you could always cut out some of the details you put in on what happened that day you found out you won but didn't get the money. There are some good stuff there but I feel like you could cut some of it out and expand the other sections--such as that bit where you drew comic books (what kind?). I think the main point is that setbacks never discouraged you from telling stories, and I think you can tell it in less words.
> 
> Also, I think it would be wise to see how USC can personally help you become the storyteller you want to become. Sure, everyone wants to go to film school to be a great storyteller--but what does it mean to be a great storyteller and how do these life experiences reinforce that idea or help you on that path? How did they make you stray from the path if it did?


ok that makes sense, i'll work on it this weekend. I see that you go to usc now. Could you tell me what it's like?


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## addik (Jun 12, 2020)

I'm still starting on Fall 2020 so I haven't started yet! Hopefully I get to in spite of the pandemic.


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jun 16, 2020)

addik said:


> I'm still starting on Fall 2020 so I haven't started yet! Hopefully I get to in spite of the pandemic.


what did you base your personal statement on? Also, can I send you my latest draft? it should be done in a day or two


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## addik (Jun 16, 2020)

Sure, send me your latest draft whenever! I'm still under lockdown so I still have a lot of free time

Also, I put my personal statement on my application if you're interested to see how I went about it. But the gist of it is that I based it on an experience I had when I was in first grade and how it helped me recognize the realities of my town and my dreams.


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jun 18, 2020)

addik said:


> Sure, send me your latest draft whenever! I'm still under lockdown so I still have a lot of free time
> 
> Also, I put my personal statement on my application if you're interested to see how I went about it. But the gist of it is that I based it on an experience I had when I was in first grade and how it helped me recognize the realities of my town and my dreams.


Hey, here's my latest draft. It's currently 49 words over 1,000 but I think it's my strongest draft yet.


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## Tammy (Jun 20, 2020)

do they still accept student on spring 2021? Cuz usually they should open the application on June 20th, but today I checked and they haven't opened yet.


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jun 23, 2020)

Tammy said:


> do they still accept student on spring 2021? Cuz usually they should open the application on June 20th, but today I checked and they haven't opened yet.


Application just opened up, I started filling mine out last night.


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## xaviserrano (Jun 26, 2020)

BigSpeaker12 said:


> Hey, here's my latest draft. It's currently 49 words over 1,000 but I think it's my strongest draft yet.


Hi there. I read your personal statement. 
Take my humble opinion with a grain of salt (it's below). I got rejected from AFI last year, so who the hell am I to pass judgment, right? I honestly find personal essays to be somewhat ridiculous for what we're trying to do. They are not a good gauge of whether or not you'll be a promising filmmaker. But hey, it's a hoop we have to jump through...

3 good things:
-Good intro paragraph. You hooked me.
-The essay makes sense. No major holes. You sound like an intelligent and capable person.
-You do a good job at telling the anecdote.

3 things to think about:

-Perhaps you're spending too much time on the anecdote. In fact, I would scrap it and choose something that is more personal, more unique.

-By the end of the essay, I didn't feel like I understood who you are as a person or as an artist. What is your angle, what are some of your ideas, what makes you so unique (everyone is)? Make me remember you. 

-Revisit those last two paragraphs; they read a bit general and almost lazy (no offense). You can do better. It's super tricky not sounding cliché in the concluding paragraph (I was def guilty of it when I wrote my AFI essay, hence the rejection). You write, _"I believe the creative community at USC will provide a space for me where I can work with like-minded individuals that will help push my films in an emotional, technical, and personal direction."_ Selection committees read that type of conclusion essay after essay after essay. What you're saying may be heartfelt and true, but it sounds worn out. 

If I had to give you my honest opinion (which is something this world doesn't do too much of when it really counts), I would not put your essay in the accepted pile. I know that sounds harsh, but I say it because I think you can do better. You're smart and capable. You're an artist. Use that artistic touch to blow my mind with your words.


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jun 29, 2020)

xaviserrano said:


> Hi there. I read your personal statement.
> Take my humble opinion with a grain of salt (it's below). I got rejected from AFI last year, so who the hell am I to pass judgment, right? I honestly find personal essays to be somewhat ridiculous for what we're trying to do. They are not a good gauge of whether or not you'll be a promising filmmaker. But hey, it's a hoop we have to jump through...
> 
> 3 good things:
> ...


Thank you. Your review is pretty helpful. I definitely agree that the last paragraph is pretty weak and my personality isn't too clear (which is the whole point lol). I don't want to start over just yet, I'll give this version another go and see how it turns out first.


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## Chris W (Jul 1, 2020)

xaviserrano said:


> I honestly find personal essays to be somewhat ridiculous for what we're trying to do. They are not a good gauge of whether or not you'll be a promising filmmaker.



Well this isn't true at all. It's a great way to showcase yourself as a storyteller. And really that's all that filmmaking is.

I highly recommend reading our interview with USC admissions if you haven't already:














 How to get Into USC Film School: Advice from an Admissions Committee Member


					Considered by many to be the best film school in the world, it’s no wonder why the USC School of Cinematic Arts (SCA) is so sought after by prospective undergraduate and graduate students alike. However, the film school’s prestige can often make the application process particularly stressful and...
				


Svaja Paka
Mar 5, 2020








5.00 star(s)


			6 ratings
		


Comments: 5
Reviews: 4
Category: Admissions Dept. Interviews






There are some GREAT tips and feedback in there.


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## xaviserrano (Jul 1, 2020)

Chris W said:


> Well this isn't true at all. It's a great way to showcase yourself as a storyteller. And really that's all that filmmaking is.



So you're telling me the quality of my _MFA admissions essay _is an accurate indicator of just how much potential I hold as a filmmaker?

With all due respect, this is perhaps one of the reasons why MFA film programs have an atrocious batting record at producing employed film directors: They focus on admissions essays.


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## Chris W (Jul 1, 2020)

xaviserrano said:


> _MFA admissions essay _is an accurate indicator of just how much potential I hold as a filmmaker?


Yes... Successful admissions essays are essentially well crafted stories.

And as a filmmaker you are a storyteller. So...a well crafted story in your personal statement can give insight as to how good a storyteller and therefore a filmmaker you have the potential to be.

Please read the USC admissions interview and you'll see what I mean.


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## Chris W (Jul 1, 2020)

That being said it's not the end all be all. But admissions committees put a lot of weight into the personal statement. It's a chance to show your storytelling chops and to let them know who you are.


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## xaviserrano (Jul 1, 2020)

I read the USC admissions interview. It's a great read, truly. Thanks for that.

And I get what you mean about injecting storytelling into the essay. It makes sense. However, I still philosophically disagree on the importance the admissions essay should play into the equation.


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## Chris W (Jul 1, 2020)

xaviserrano said:


> And I get what you mean about injecting storytelling into the essay. It makes sense. However, I still philosophically disagree on the importance the admissions essay should play into the equation.


That may be so... but it's what admissions committees are looking for. 🤷‍♂️ 



> *Any tips on how to write a good personal statement? *
> 
> First of all: show not tell. Show me in a visual way. I don't mean writing a bunch of flowery words to describe something. I mean, paint the scene for us. For example, and this is a bad example, but somebody might write, “When I was a kid, I was a loner.” What we're looking for is somebody who instead would write, “when I was a kid, I walked 20 feet behind everybody else.” Right? Because now I can visualize that scene and it means so much more than just the adjective “loner”.
> 
> ...
















 How to get Into USC Film School: Advice from an Admissions Committee Member


					Considered by many to be the best film school in the world, it’s no wonder why the USC School of Cinematic Arts (SCA) is so sought after by prospective undergraduate and graduate students alike. However, the film school’s prestige can often make the application process particularly stressful and...
				


Svaja Paka
Mar 5, 2020








5.00 star(s)


			6 ratings
		


Comments: 5
Reviews: 4
Category: Admissions Dept. Interviews


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## thisismaritza (Jul 10, 2020)

BigSpeaker12 said:


> Hey, here's my latest draft. It's currently 49 words over 1,000 but I think it's my strongest draft yet.


 Hey! I was accepted into Columbia and waitlisted for USC Fall 2020. I'll be attending USC in Spring 2021! I'd love to help you out in any way possible, but again everyone has different preferences/opinions. Though, I'm hoping my past experience as a journalist might help a bit. 

First off, I have to agree with @xaviserrano. The anecdotes are a bit long. You should definitely include an anecdote, and I think starting off with one is a good decision. However, don't forget to answer every part of the personal statement prompt. Talk about what kind of stories you're interested in telling and why. 

I think the anecdote about making movies with your uncle's video camera is something special and grasped my attention more than the current intro because I could visualize it. When you're writing an anecdote try to show and not tell. After all, storytelling is the most important part of the personal statement. I want to be able to see in my mind what a little Andrew looked like making films with his uncle's camera. Take me there. Might help to visualize that memory and then write down everything you can remember about the scene. What were you filming? Were you whispering because you were trying not to get caught and it was late at night? Etc. Etc.

Look up some examples of descriptive writing to get inspired. I think having a nice, descriptive voice is important for applying to film school since you can't use a camera to show your story in an essay, you should use words to paint an image instead. It'll show you're versatile. 

An anecdote like that is sure to catch the reader's attention in the first paragraph, but keep it relatively brief. Then, I would expand on the stories you want to tell. What kind of things inspire you? Why do you want to tell those stories? What is unique or different about the stories you want to tell? 

If I remember correctly, I think there is a writing prompt separate from the personal statement where you have to answer a question about collaboration. That might be a great time to talk about the competition you mentioned. I feel like it would go well with that prompt. Though, I don't know if it's included in this semester's application. 

Best wishes! I hope this was helpful. Hope to see you in Spring 2021! 

Maritza


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jul 11, 2020)

thisismaritza said:


> Hey! I was accepted into Columbia and waitlisted for USC Fall 2020. I'll be attending USC in Spring 2021! I'd love to help you out in any way possible, but again everyone has different preferences/opinions. Though, I'm hoping my past experience as a journalist might help a bit.
> 
> First off, I have to agree with @xaviserrano. The anecdotes are a bit long. You should definitely include an anecdote, and I think starting off with one is a good decision. However, don't forget to answer every part of the personal statement prompt. Talk about what kind of stories you're interested in telling and why.
> 
> ...


Hmmm. This is good advice. Are you saying I should removing everything about the contest from the personal statement and focus just on my childhood?


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## thisismaritza (Jul 11, 2020)

BigSpeaker12 said:


> Hmmm. This is good advice. Are you saying I should removing everything about the contest from the personal statement and focus just on my childhood?


If the collaboration questions on the Slideroom application are similar to the ones we got I would. For me, there was a prompt about working on a collaborative project that didn't work out how you expected it to. So your story about the contest might work best for that prompt. However, if the questions are different, it depends on your preference. 

You should definitely include the contest anecdote somewhere in your application. So, if you can include it in the collaboration question instead then that'd be great. Just because it takes a majority of the word count in the personal statement. If the contest anecdote doesn't fit with this semester's collab question then I think it's fine to fit it into your personal statement, but the imagery of you making videos as a little kid could be an interesting introduction. You can keep it brief to save space if you don't want to dwell too much on it. 

Again, I don't know what this semester's application is like, and ultimately it's up to you. It is a personal statement after all, and you should include what you think best captures and represents your personality. What my preference is might not be the same as another person's preference. Good luck!


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## BigSpeaker12 (Jul 11, 2020)

thisismaritza said:


> If the collaboration questions on the Slideroom application are similar to the ones we got I would. For me, there was a prompt about working on a collaborative project that didn't work out how you expected it to. So your story about the contest might work best for that prompt. However, if the questions are different, it depends on your preference.
> 
> You should definitely include the contest anecdote somewhere in your application. So, if you can include it in the collaboration question instead then that'd be great. Just because it takes a majority of the word count in the personal statement. If the contest anecdote doesn't fit with this semester's collab question then I think it's fine to fit it into your personal statement, but the imagery of you making videos as a little kid could be an interesting introduction. You can keep it brief to save space if you don't want to dwell too much on it.
> 
> Again, I don't know what this semester's application is like, and ultimately it's up to you. It is a personal statement after all, and you should include what you think best captures and represents your personality. What my preference is might not be the same as another person's preference. Good luck!


thank you again. I'm gonna try writing about the films I made with my uncles camera and see how that goes. Would you be interested in reading it  when I'm done. It should only take few days for me to write.


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## thisismaritza (Jul 11, 2020)

BigSpeaker12 said:


> thank you again. I'm gonna try writing about the films I made with my uncles camera and see how that goes. Would you be interested in reading it  when I'm done. It should only take few days for me to write.


Sure!


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