# Anyone care to critique my first film short?



## Bmob Dren (Sep 2, 2010)

This is my first short (which will be part of a larger reel consisting of 3 shorts)

It was shot in 2 days here in Austin, and I directed it, with my friends acting and shooting for me. 

Is it 'good enough' to include in film school submissions reels? I am curious to know what people think. Honesty preferred!

Also, there is a B&W and color version that I am just not sure which I like better. Any suggestions appreciated!


B&W version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc_Uk2r6Ims

Color version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0YBCLYbcaw


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## Motivating Minds (Sep 3, 2010)

I watched both versions all the way through.
4 out of 5
I think the color version is better, the b/w I'm not sure if its distracting or just taking away from the film. Good Job man.


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## duders (Sep 3, 2010)

I don't think it's good enough.

There are no characters, no conflict, no drama.

A lot of repetitious shots of repetitious action. 

This film doesn't need to be more than 1 minute long.

I don't understand what the last shot is saying, other than it looks good.

Also, I found the soundtrack to be heavy handed and annoying.


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## Bmob Dren (Sep 3, 2010)

Thanks for the suggestions. This is only the first short of 3 shorts that will be included on my application reel. I guess the feeling I was going for was something visceral without words. Almost like a music video. There isn't supposed to be any conflict other than the idea of what happens once we die. The next 2 will have dialogue and be completely different in tone.

I want to include different styles and types, to showcase that I am not a one-trick pony.


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## duders (Sep 4, 2010)

the only trick you need to show is that you know how to tell a story, unless of course you are interested in attending a program geared towards more experimental works.

a "feeling" is not a story. It's not visceral since the repetition takes away any energy that you gain. 

I would suggest cutting any superfluous shots. For example: we don't need 3 or 4 shots of the guy leaving a building and getting on his bike. Start off with him on the bike already.  

Another example: the shot of him riding on the bridge...the composition is off, but it's one of the better shots in the film, thus don't cut away to a closer shot, and then cut back to the wide. Let the shot play out.


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## Bmob Dren (Sep 5, 2010)

good suggestions - i actually didn't edit it, a friend did - but when i cut the whole thing together as one longer reel with the other 2 pieces, i probably will shorten it - thanks for the suggestions, mate!


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## Dangermouse (Sep 10, 2010)

Hi Bmob, 

I have sat through many student films. And I liked yours! It was a great exercise. Here's what I liked. The pacing. You kept the shots moving, and the shots were interesting. So many student films linger on and get boring very quickly. 

I also liked the last shot and how the guy on the bike really looked dead. I've seen a lot of student films where someone is supposed to be dead and they are just lying there, but this guy was all sprawled out and looked messed up. 

All in all you elicited a nice mood. It works better as an exercise than a complete film, but that's exactly what you SHOULD be doing at this stage. It looks better than many of the films made at New York Film Academy or NYU. Check this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52NEVxxHfzM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...kdDw&feature=related

Here's the thing, if you want my honest advice about what you are up to based on this and the other post. 

I'm an NYU Film Grad. Finished in 1999 and spent 10 years working on movies. I've raised money for features shot a few shorts and I'm developing 2 features here in LA. 

But here's the thing man. Film School was a complete waste for me. And for my friends who went to USC, UCLA, and New York Film Academy. Basically, if you go to a Masters or Bachelor's Program, you're going to end up like the young woman from the other post at USC who admitted hey, I'm in school and I'm not even making a movie. 

If you do go to school, this is what happens. You spend some days sitting in a classroom taking notes on concepts you already have and things you can find on google. Shot composition, 
rule of thirds, editing, etc. 

You're paying a fortune to use video cameras you already own or could rent for a couple hundred dollars a day.

Your little short already demonstrates a level of competence of these techniques. 

Then they are going to give you a camera and send you out into the world and say "shoot a  movie", which is what you are already doing. Then when it is done you will sit in a classroom and your peers will give you critiques like this and the teacher will say a few things like "that shot at the end, you should get rid of it."

The crazy truth is, all the great filmmakers got better through practice practice practice. Tarantino, Hitchock, Rodriguez, Spielberg, James Cameron, Judd Apatow... none of these guys ever took a class. 

Now I'm passionate about this because when I was 18 I'd shot about 15 shorts on video... and when I went to film school I thought they were going to teach me more about making feature movies, etc. But it really was a joke. They give you a camera, say shoot some movies, and then give you a letter grade. "B". 'A- nice work' was really something I got on a film I shot. 

The other thing most people don't talk about or won't say, but everyone in the business knows, is that having a Masters Degree in film will actually hurt you when you go for work. Seriously. Production Managers and employers do not want to work with people who have a degree in filmmaking. Why? Because student films are not pro films. 

Pro filmmakers want to work with pros, not people who have spend years in an Academic Environment. 

And Film School Grads are, well, a joke in the business. Because there are so many more successful people with no degree. 

Nobody really heeds this; people keep applying to school. But when you get to LA you'll see. 

Anyway, I say if you're passionate enough to make these movies on your own, go to Barnes and Noble, get on the net, read as much as you can about filmmaking, copy your favorite movies... that's how I did it. 

I didn't learn a thing in school, i just made one movie after another and eventually they got better. 

I just interviewed a 21 year old kid who is a Pro DP in LA making $500 a day and he dropped out of film school after a semester because he was getting actual work in the business. This business is about doing stuff and taking action. If you're willing to be a self starter you can make your dreams come true faster than you imagine and you do not need school. 

If you want to check out part of that interview go to: www.filmschoolsecrets.com/members

Anyway, I hope some of this information was helpful to you. Keep making shorts, you will get better, and be careful before you commit to getting that degree!

Let me know if you have any other questions. 

Best, 

Seth


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## duders (Sep 10, 2010)

sounds like Seth is trying to sell a book. Wait a minute...he is!


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## Bmob Dren (Sep 12, 2010)

The thing is, some of what was said here does make sense and there probably is some truth behind it. But, I am getting my Master's because I actually LIKE school, and I would like to be able to teach on a collegiate level if I don't wind up being 'the next great thing' in Hollywood. 

So, getting an MFA is a win-win for me. I get to learn more of a craft I love and I come out with a degree that will be useful in my 'fallback' career. I think some people can and do learn better on their own. I just happen to be one of those people who learns better in a classroom with fellow students.


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