# Need FEEDBACK!!!



## Nothing (May 10, 2003)

Hey fellow filmmakers.  I'm about to start production of my second film, and I'd love to get some feedback on my first to know what to improve on.  It's on the site right now, "Milk Through a Straw" is the title.  I don't care if you rip it apart, just be constructive and knowledged when you do!  I'm particularily looking for editing or cinematography tips, I know the acting stuff needs work.  Thanks!  Peace.


-Nothing

Matt Maisano


----------



## Nothing (May 10, 2003)

Hey fellow filmmakers.  I'm about to start production of my second film, and I'd love to get some feedback on my first to know what to improve on.  It's on the site right now, "Milk Through a Straw" is the title.  I don't care if you rip it apart, just be constructive and knowledged when you do!  I'm particularily looking for editing or cinematography tips, I know the acting stuff needs work.  Thanks!  Peace.


-Nothing

Matt Maisano


----------



## Irony is a Dead Scene (May 10, 2003)

Ok, well I watched your flick, and hated it. Sorry but I could not stand it. But I'll give you some tips that should help you out. First off.. get an awesome idea for a story... unless your going to make some experimental movie, your going to need a real kick ass story line. For opening credits... learn after effects and fool around with some ideas. www.creativecow.com has some great tutorials on that kind of stuff. Umm, a few shots were kind of shaky. To make it flow better, work on your lighting and use a steady cam or a tripod on every shot, if you can. I also suggest a boom mic and a different voice if you decide to do another voice over in your movie. I hope these tips help you out. I am no way trying to discourage you because we are all learning and that is why were here. Good luck, I am looking forward to seeing your next film.

If you don't look I'll force you to _=_


----------



## JASONvb (May 10, 2003)

I would recomend some heavy research on proper visual storytelling.  There are plenty of good books out there.  But to be honest, that piece was, well, a piece.  Sounds like you got the motivation, just get some good talent, better story, better set, better camerawork, get a flui head tripd, learn to edit, and everythign else.  Take a class or something.  Theres lots to learn

"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time"


----------



## HBKDinobot (May 11, 2003)

Hey man. The best tip you can get is to keep shooting and keep learning. Learn from your shoot and Shoot what you learn.


----------



## TizzyEntertainment (May 11, 2003)

Ok, you asked, here goes.

  You need to learn film making basics. Film 101. Learn about wide shots (establishing shot) medium shot, and close up. You know that zoom button? DONT TOUCH THAT!! Stay away from zoom! What you should do instead.
  Guy sees something on ground, and bends down
Cut to:
  Playing card on the ground, he picks it up.

  Zooming in dosent work. If you dont have a tripod that doesnt make noise, and "bump" when you pan or tilt with it, dont move it. You need to get that camera off that tripod now and again anyway. Get an external mic. Get good sound. Stop the jump cuts. You need to shoot more coverage, so you have something to cut to. That way you wouldnt have to cut to, basically the same image, and have that "jumpy" feeling (hence the term, jump cut. Learn about the 180o rule (axis rule) and then, dont break it. 
  Bassically watch movies, how do they tell a story? See how they have a wide shot of the two people, then cut to one of them, then the other. Thats what you need to do. Thats three different setups, and atleast three different takes. Thast what makes a good movie.

  The most important thing is story. I dont think you had it here. Ill try and break this down a little better. Im not a big fan of metaphor as the single driving force of a film, but Ill be objective.

  You didnt really establish the characters, so I had nothing vested, and didnt care. It was like, heres Wink, on a trip, with milk and funny hair. I know nothing about him, and he is off on the biggest journey of his life. because  know nothing, I dont care about him, and so, dont care what happens to him. 
  Character development is huge. if the audience cant get involved, they loose interest.
  Then, there was the dialouge and V/O. It all sounded contrived, and forced, not deep. "As the wind, blah blah... milk through a straw." What? Again, 30 seconds in, and im already checking out.

  First, work on a a strong story. Develop characters, and story as one. Who are these people, what part do they play? What information do we need to know about them in order to complete the story? If you think the janitor is an alcoholic, but it has nothing to do with the events within, leave it out.
  While your fleshing out your story, research film making basics. The afore mentioned rules are pretty simple ones. I can get you started with some good stuff here. First, check out...
Robert Rodriguez Ten Minute film school

  Then, you can read these three articles by me.
Tizzy Article 1
Tizzy Article 2
Tizzy Article 3

  These should help get you started. try looking up some of the other things I mentioned as well. Otherwise, shoot stuff. Nothing better then good ale hands on. And let us know when you have something new to check out. Good luck.
R. Michael

"Luck, is when opportunity, meets preperation." "There are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth, and none of us are lying" -Robert Evans


----------



## TizzyEntertainment (May 12, 2003)

I found some great tutorials.

  First, this is a great example of how to light. Check out
http://www.jamesarnett.com/lighting.html

  Then, remember I mentioned the axis rule? Here is an exact example of what that is, and how to avoid it.
http://www.jamesarnett.com/crossingtheline.html

  for more great tips, check out the rest of the site at..
http://www.jamesarnett.com/sections.html

Enjoy.
R. M.

"Luck, is when opportunity, meets preperation." "There are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth, and none of us are lying" -Robert Evans


----------

